by Michael Anthony Farley on May 25, 2017

Donald Trump has a notoriously weird handshake that only Justin Trudeau has been able to successfully beat. Until today, that is.
Newly elected French president Emmanuel Macron countered Trump’s death-grip in a minor arm-wrestling match that was described by IRL witness Phillip Rucker of The Washington Post:
“They shook hands for an extended period of time. Each president gripped the other’s hand with considerable intensity, their knuckles turning white and their jaws clenching and faces tightening.”
It’s noticeable that Trump just seems to want his hand back, which is exactly how anyone who’s ever had their hand (or pussy) grabbed by the president must feel. Thank you Emmanuel Macron, for winning this second important victory—the other of course being his defeat of psycho Marine Le Pen, lest France found itself with a Trump of its own.
I’m wondering if there’s an asshole-countering handshake the French learn in handsome politician school? Notably, the only other world leader to best the tiny hand vice has been of French Canadian descent…
Beau Travail!
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by Michael Anthony Farley on May 25, 2017
Donald, Melania, and Ivanka Trump paid an extremely awkward visit to the Pope this week, and the only ones who seemed to enjoy themselves were everyone on the internet. This is the latest in a string of GIF-able, meme-able moments from a Mediterranean-spanning trip plagued by bad optics.
Of particular note were the bizarre goth ensembles donned by Ivana and Melania, adding to the somber vibe. Apparently it’s some Catholic custom (that seems out of the Dark Ages) for women to cover up when meeting the Pope. The Trump ladies took this as an opportunity to dress like Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice. We wish we had these outfits for our Goth Opera party!
One irony in this, of course, is that the conservative internet went wild praising Melania for not wearing a headscarf when visiting Saudi Arabia. The biggest irony? Trump criticized Michelle Obama when she decided to forgo a headscarf when visiting Saudi Arabia as First Lady.
The hypocrisy never ends, but at least the human trainwreck that is the First Family provides us all with plenty of LOLs to distract from the fact that they’re destroying civilization as we know it.
Below, some of my favorite memes from the Vatican trip—drawing comparisons to everything from the camp classic Death Becomes Her to Hot Topic employees.
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