“You want fame?” a yappy looking dog asks. A doe-eyed baby responds, “It’s yours for the taking.” I don’t know what kind of fucked up art world-meets-the Matrix-meets-H.R. Pufnstuf kind of universe Parker Koo Ito‘s Artist Statement, (2009) exists in, but I certainly like it. Ito’s site features a gaggle of weird characters–some fictional, some historical–who all offer sage advice to their viewer. Statements uttered are fairly contentious and pertain to varying aspects of art making and the Internet. “C++ has replaced the brush,” “The hand is dead,” and “Why look at Gustav Courbet [robotically pronounced Cor-bit] when you can look at free porn?” provide just a few examples. Ito’s Artist Statement (2009) comically addresses antiquated ideas about artistic practice and the Internet without dipping too deeply into the realm of the absurd.