What’s in Your Inbox?

by Art Fag City on October 8, 2009 · 26 comments Blurb

POST BY PADDY JOHNSONart fag city, parker koo ito
Masthead, Parker Koo Ito

Art Fag City is not yet ready to display the collection of cocks we’ve received from artists over the years, but Frieze beat us to the better version of that post — a listicle of weird correspondence emails. It appears we’re on a number of these same artists mailing lists. A few highlights:

  • Bonjour, I am a French painter!
  • I am a young artist, do you have an art section? Sent from my iPod
  • Ladies and Gentlemen, Respected Members of The Media, Press & Artworld! I introduce myself to you all today exclusively. The greatest artist of the modern age! I welcome your feedback.
  • Nazis is one of essential and the most fashionable topic in the modern art. If someone wants to succeed and to show himself as a serious artist, he should catch on Nazis or the Holocaust subjects.

I’m not sure we have very many emails that could top the Frieze collection, but my favorite as of late reads as follows.

  • how are the art fag city masthead artists selected? do you have to have street cred.? i’d be interested in making some. PPPPPPPPPPPPPP

That message came from artist Parker Koo Ito. We gave him a slot in the masthead.

Link via: c-monster.

{ 26 comments }

KB October 8, 2009 at 5:35 pm

one of my personal favorites: i can donate one of my sculpture to XXX i worke with bronze,wood,metal plate and destroid guns,so if is possible i would like to come there for an Residency program,and i can do big sculpture

KB October 8, 2009 at 1:35 pm

one of my personal favorites: i can donate one of my sculpture to XXX i worke with bronze,wood,metal plate and destroid guns,so if is possible i would like to come there for an Residency program,and i can do big sculpture

Joanne Mattera October 8, 2009 at 5:52 pm

Good day dear,nnI know my message will come to you as a surprise because we have not met each other before but nevertheless, I am praying for this message to meet you in good condition of health. I am writing with the greatest delight and personal respect, believing you will not betray the trust and confident which i want to repose on you.n nMy name is Oulim George. I’m 31 yrs old woman. I’m from liberia in west africa origin/nationality. Am a widow,ex-wife to army officer and was Lt. Colonel in rank during his army service before he was killed by political opponent.nAttempt was made to kill me too,but i was very lucky to escape just by the grace of almight God.n nMy late husband lodged some money in Bank in London which i’ve tried to withdraw the fund but i was denied the access because of my refugee statues, rather i was adviced to bring a partner to file for the fund as my trustee requesting on my behalf. The total fund is 8.400.000 pounds (Eight million Four hundred thousand pounds) which my late husband deposited in London Bank.n nI’m soliciting for your noble hand to help me transfer this fund into your account in your country,i want to invest this money in your country where there is more econo mic and political stability.I decided to write you with all my whole heart and i will like us to discuss how much you will like to take as your percentage from the money.nI am impatiently awaiting for your response.nThanks,nMrs Oulim.

Joanne Mattera October 8, 2009 at 5:52 pm

Good day dear,nnI know my message will come to you as a surprise because we have not met each other before but nevertheless, I am praying for this message to meet you in good condition of health. I am writing with the greatest delight and personal respect, believing you will not betray the trust and confident which i want to repose on you.n nMy name is Oulim George. I’m 31 yrs old woman. I’m from liberia in west africa origin/nationality. Am a widow,ex-wife to army officer and was Lt. Colonel in rank during his army service before he was killed by political opponent.nAttempt was made to kill me too,but i was very lucky to escape just by the grace of almight God.n nMy late husband lodged some money in Bank in London which i’ve tried to withdraw the fund but i was denied the access because of my refugee statues, rather i was adviced to bring a partner to file for the fund as my trustee requesting on my behalf. The total fund is 8.400.000 pounds (Eight million Four hundred thousand pounds) which my late husband deposited in London Bank.n nI’m soliciting for your noble hand to help me transfer this fund into your account in your country,i want to invest this money in your country where there is more econo mic and political stability.I decided to write you with all my whole heart and i will like us to discuss how much you will like to take as your percentage from the money.nI am impatiently awaiting for your response.nThanks,nMrs Oulim.

Joanne Mattera October 8, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Good day dear,\n\nI know my message will come to you as a surprise because we have not met each other before but nevertheless, I am praying for this message to meet you in good condition of health. I am writing with the greatest delight and personal respect, believing you will not betray the trust and confident which i want to repose on you.\n \nMy name is Oulim George. I’m 31 yrs old woman. I’m from liberia in west africa origin/nationality. Am a widow,ex-wife to army officer and was Lt. Colonel in rank during his army service before he was killed by political opponent.\nAttempt was made to kill me too,but i was very lucky to escape just by the grace of almight God.\n \nMy late husband lodged some money in Bank in London which i’ve tried to withdraw the fund but i was denied the access because of my refugee statues, rather i was adviced to bring a partner to file for the fund as my trustee requesting on my behalf. The total fund is 8.400.000 pounds (Eight million Four hundred thousand pounds) which my late husband deposited in London Bank.\n \nI’m soliciting for your noble hand to help me transfer this fund into your account in your country,i want to invest this money in your country where there is more econo mic and political stability.I decided to write you with all my whole heart and i will like us to discuss how much you will like to take as your percentage from the money.\nI am impatiently awaiting for your response.\nThanks,\nMrs Oulim.

charles October 8, 2009 at 7:43 pm

parker does some amazing work. i’m not a huge fan of video art, but I love his videos.

charles October 8, 2009 at 3:43 pm

parker does some amazing work. i’m not a huge fan of video art, but I love his videos.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP October 8, 2009 at 9:55 pm

I sent a really good email a couple of weeks ago to Karen about an IMG MGMT idea that would be perfect for this post!

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP October 8, 2009 at 9:55 pm

I sent a really good email a couple of weeks ago to Karen about an IMG MGMT idea that would be perfect for this post!

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP October 8, 2009 at 9:55 pm

I sent a really good email a couple of weeks ago to Karen about an IMG MGMT idea that would be perfect for this post!

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP October 8, 2009 at 5:55 pm

I sent a really good email a couple of weeks ago to Karen about an IMG MGMT idea that would be perfect for this post!

c.e.d. October 9, 2009 at 3:28 am

u r a shameless slut and that’s why i luv u!!!

c.e.d. October 9, 2009 at 3:28 am

u r a shameless slut and that’s why i luv u!!!

c.e.d. October 9, 2009 at 3:28 am

u r a shameless slut and that’s why i luv u!!!

c.e.d. October 8, 2009 at 11:28 pm

u r a shameless slut and that’s why i luv u!!!

Karen Archey October 9, 2009 at 4:48 pm

That email was indeed perfect. See below:

Hey Karen,
I was wondering how you and Paddy choose the artists to do the IMG MNGMNT series? Caitlin Denny and I would love to do an essay next year tentatively titled “In the Future Everyone’s Grandma Will Watch Scat for 15 Minutes, or How the Internet is Like Bahktin’s Canivalesque, but Cooler.” If this sounds interesting I can tell you more.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Karen Archey October 9, 2009 at 4:48 pm

That email was indeed perfect. See below:

Hey Karen,
I was wondering how you and Paddy choose the artists to do the IMG MNGMNT series? Caitlin Denny and I would love to do an essay next year tentatively titled “In the Future Everyone’s Grandma Will Watch Scat for 15 Minutes, or How the Internet is Like Bahktin’s Canivalesque, but Cooler.” If this sounds interesting I can tell you more.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Karen Archey October 9, 2009 at 4:48 pm

That email was indeed perfect. See below:

Hey Karen,
I was wondering how you and Paddy choose the artists to do the IMG MNGMNT series? Caitlin Denny and I would love to do an essay next year tentatively titled “In the Future Everyone’s Grandma Will Watch Scat for 15 Minutes, or How the Internet is Like Bahktin’s Canivalesque, but Cooler.” If this sounds interesting I can tell you more.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Karen Archey October 9, 2009 at 12:48 pm

That email was indeed perfect. See below:

Hey Karen,
I was wondering how you and Paddy choose the artists to do the IMG MNGMNT series? Caitlin Denny and I would love to do an essay next year tentatively titled “In the Future Everyone’s Grandma Will Watch Scat for 15 Minutes, or How the Internet is Like Bahktin’s Canivalesque, but Cooler.” If this sounds interesting I can tell you more.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Gregg October 9, 2009 at 5:13 pm

let’s see the cock collection.

Gregg October 9, 2009 at 5:13 pm

let’s see the cock collection.

Gregg October 9, 2009 at 5:13 pm

let’s see the cock collection.

Gregg October 9, 2009 at 1:13 pm

let’s see the cock collection.

c.e.d. October 10, 2009 at 8:06 am

p-ito could show u a pretty good cum collection if you’re man enough

c.e.d. October 10, 2009 at 8:06 am

p-ito could show u a pretty good cum collection if you’re man enough

c.e.d. October 10, 2009 at 4:06 am

p-ito could show u a pretty good cum collection if you’re man enough

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