Looking for a run down of award winners from the Art F City Art World Roast Auction and Awards? We’ve got you covered. The winners, as told by the GIFs of Arjun Srivatsa. Drumroll, please! 
This is Christie’s award, therefore nominees were evaluated based on their steeliness, manliness, and an appeal with blue-chip collectors. This award was rigged.
The Nominees
Richard Serra!
The Award for Best Self-Promotion awards people whose extraordinary self-confidence has resulted in extraordinarily inventive use of language, willful self-delusions, or cultish followings.
The Nominees
Marina Abramovic Institute!
This year’s group shows were marked by cajones (all-dudes). Which show contained the most pairs?
The Nominees
Gagosian!
Tweezing is for the art world’s weaklings.
The Nominees
Mary Boone!
What New York neighborhood truly excels in burgeoning coffee shops? How many new restaurants specializing in organ meat and homemade ramen can it support? And most importantly, how many artists have been chased out of their studios by a new start-up that desperately needs room for its ping pong table or an artisanal chocolate factory scraping to make ends meet.
The Nominees
Bushwick!
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