How To Measure Jeff Koons’s Hammer Strength

by Paddy Johnson and Matthew Leifheit on June 13, 2014 · 4 comments Blurb

Jeff Koons, Vanity Fair

Jeff Koons, Vanity Fair

Nobody knows how to make money off their dick like Jeff Koons. Here’s a picture of him in this month’s Vanity Fair, naked, dick obscured, and lifting weights on the “Hammer Strength” machine. Yee haw!

We’ve seen this before. Koons spent much of the early 90’s making paintings and sculptures of himself fucking his wife. By the end of this series, he had grown so obsessed with body sculpting he was even enlarging his dick for his sculptures. (I guess the big dick premise in porn is akin to the big hands and feet premise in art rendering — it all looks more realistic when larger?)

So now you know the questions to ask: What’s been photoshopped in this picture? How big is Koons’ actual dick? How much body sculpting has been done and how much more can we expect to see?

Made in Heaven

Jeff Koons, “Dirty (Jeff on Top),” 1991. Image Courtesy of  Cinema Electronica


Saul Chernick June 13, 2014 at 3:38 pm

I think “Hammer Strength” should be a term used in relation to how well an artist can do at auctions. “Who’s got more hammer strength, Koons or Hirst?” Dude, Louise Bourgeois got some serious hammer strength!”

Charles R. Kiss June 13, 2014 at 6:15 pm

The Art Bank of America!

Quizdit June 13, 2014 at 9:04 pm

Always the provocateur…. 🙂

JosephYoung June 16, 2014 at 9:13 am

What an ass.

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