NSFW GIF of the Hump Day: Down the Rabbit Hole that is Test Press

by Michael Anthony Farley on September 30, 2015 GIF of the Day + NSFW GIF of the Hump-Day

hump-dayToday, I tried to find a GIF to congratulate Nicole Eisenman on her Macarthur Genius Grant win. I was hoping someone out there had animated some of her raunchier queer-tastic work into a splendid loop of twitching, painterly genitalia.

Instead, when I put the “animated” filter on Google Image search and typed in “Nicole Eisenman”, this came up:

houseofdong_ban_sm

The image is hosted on this page, a slideshow of highlights from the 2014 Armory Show where Koenig & Clinton were showing Eisenman’s work. And also ads for sex toys.

Welcome to TestPress.net, the site of Johnny Chiba, who blogs about art and music (using many GIFs) and is sponsored by testicle.com, a website that explains itself in GIF format:

adult sex toy

How exactly does one get to be a GIF-filled art blog that gets sponsored by a GIF-filled Adult Sex Toy Warehouse? No, really—I want to know.

Testicle.com is full of GIFs of dildos. Some of them are Marvel superhero-themed, like “The Incredible HUNK“:

hulk dildo

There’s also a product that looks like a silicone mannequin torso with a built-in dildo. When you click on that, it directs you to “The Biggest Dildo Store on the Internet” where the “Mega Masturbator” is advertised with a video that depicts a man wearing a “Fuck me Silly Dude” T-shirt furiously attempting to rip the dildo off of the torso in a remarkably un-sexy way. After about 30 seconds he says something along the lines of “I don’t know what they’re talking about. There’s no way to break the penis. I mean, what could they possibly be doing to this that they would do to a real penis?”

This is truly one of the stranger pieces of video I have ever seen in my life… and I have seen a lot of weird shit. The video is especially odd given that there’s no introduction explaining why the man is trying to castrate the sex doll. It is probably the least effective piece of advertising in the history of advertising.

All of which leads me to believe that maybe all of this sex toy sponsorship is actually a really brilliant art project that’s somehow more fleshed-out (no pun intended) than the actual art blog?

Which isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy getting lost on Test Press for a few dozen minutes. Johnny Chiba also animated a drawing by Sergio Zuniga into this horrifying NSFW GIF appropriately titled “Puke Thing”:

puke thing

For the full experience, look at it on this page, where it is accompanied by sound effects.

It’s nice to know that there is someone else out there in the world whose job description involves both art fairs and NSFW GIFs.

Anyway, Nicole Eisenman is great.

So is the internet.

 

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