POST BY PADDY JOHNSON
The shelves of Pearl Paint. Photo: Anne Johnson
Editor’s note: I don’t normally publish personal stories on AFC, but every once and a while a news item such as Pearl Paint’s recent store closures prompts a bit of dirty laundry appropriate for the blog. The names in this story have been changed to protect the anonymity of those involved.
In 1999 I wasn’t much of a student. Grad school at Rutgers intimidated me, and I lived in a rough neighborhood. One day, I came home to discover my neighbor shot his wife and kid before blowing his own head off. Another, I witnessed a large crowd of thugs with weapons, walking swiftly in the direction of a nearby graveyard. I assume some sort of gang fight took place. I had nightmares every night for the first three months I lived in New Brunswick, New Jersey, and missed my home in Canada more than I admitted to myself. Oddly, I was too much of an optimist to understand I was unhappy.
But there were signs. For one, I would occasionally steal a few items from the Pearl Paint store in New Jersey when I became disproportionately enraged by its poor management. The store was the closest approximation to hell I’d ever encountered. Two floors of art supplies, and somehow Pearl never had what you needed. They also never had staff that knew enough to help you find it. Lines of people as far as the eye could see ran through the store; likely because they placed an unnaturally happy young woman with a metal hook for a hand at the cash register. “Did you find everything you need?” she’d ask, stumbling to put the few items I’d decided to pay for in the bag. She was probably the only one who cared about the shop, but I hated her anyway.
I wasn’t the only one who had problems with the store. My friend Tanya took to stealing regularly from the outfit in addition to a few other chains in the neighborhood, rationalizing the act as a means of making up for an otherwise straight-laced youth. This went on for about three months, before she finally got caught stealing a pair of scissors from Pearl’s flagship store in New York. An employee had seen her pocket the item and followed her out of the store. “You’re very good at this,” said the man, demanding to see the contents of her bag. There were no charges, but the store took a Polaroid of Tanya and mounted it on the shoplifter wall of shame. The image was placed adjacent to that of a Hassid also caught for theft.
“We faxed your image to all the stores in the country,” the employee told Tanya. “You are not welcome in any of our stores.” This was less than good news. While there are many art supply shops in New York, there was only one anywhere near Rutgers. Tanya’s ban also represented a significant problem for me, as I had no car and it was only through catching rides with her that I did any art supply shopping at all.
Unrelated to this, about a week later, Tanya and I decided to attend a John Waters lecture. At the time, I had not yet seen any of his films, so I worried I wouldn’t be able to keep up. It wasn’t an issue. Waters spent the bulk of the lecture talking about his work rehabilitating prisoners.
I could have cared less, but Tanya recognized an opportunity when she saw it. “I’ve been banned for life from Pearl Paint for shoplifting, and I can’t complete my graduate degree without access to the store,” she explained breathlessly to Waters after the lecture. A long line of students waiting to get his signature behind her already seemed impatient. “Can you write me a letter explaining that I’m rehabilitated?” A slight pause…”Are you going to do it again?” asked Waters. “No,” she replied. “Sure.” He shrugged his shoulders and wrote his letter on the program press release.
Interestingly, even after sending John Waters' letter of recommendation, Pearl Paint did not respond. Finally, Tanya called the New York office. “We got the letter, yes,” the employee told her, sounding a little exasperated. “Listen, we don’t actually fax your image to every store. We just say that to keep people from stealing at other locations. You can shop in New Jersey, just don’t do it here.”
Whether or not John Waters had any influence on Pearl Paint is up for debate, but thanks to that employee, Tanya was able to shop without the anxiety of being shamed at the New Jersey location just outside New Brunswick. We both graduated the following year.
{ 36 comments }
At the Pearl in Rockville, MD, “You wanna pay in cash?” meant that you could pay $40-$60 in cash and basically take as much paint as your wanted…
At the Pearl in Rockville, MD, “You wanna pay in cash?” meant that you could pay $40-$60 in cash and basically take as much paint as your wanted…
ha! quite the yarn.
ha! quite the yarn.
I got a good chuckle from the pearl paint thread. I have experienced and heard similar stories regarding pearl, including rumors of massive pilfering by employees, near fisticuff confrontations in the store, and an overall lack of essential art making supplies in stock, (especially after hiking up that big stairwell on Canal St….not a nice feeling!) Your story is both endearing and a bit of dark comedy as it exposes the all too common situation of artist as fatalistic victim in an uncaring, capitalistic, money driven world, left to act outunseemly acts of desperation in order to “survive.” Are we talking “Old Holland?” or David Lynch’s “Mulholland Drive?” You mention John Waters, I am not familiar with his work, yet you got me thinking…thanks!
I got a good chuckle from the pearl paint thread. I have experienced and heard similar stories regarding pearl, including rumors of massive pilfering by employees, near fisticuff confrontations in the store, and an overall lack of essential art making supplies in stock, (especially after hiking up that big stairwell on Canal St….not a nice feeling!) Your story is both endearing and a bit of dark comedy as it exposes the all too common situation of artist as fatalistic victim in an uncaring, capitalistic, money driven world, left to act outunseemly acts of desperation in order to “survive.” Are we talking “Old Holland?” or David Lynch’s “Mulholland Drive?” You mention John Waters, I am not familiar with his work, yet you got me thinking…thanks!
What a hoot! I have been stealing Old Holland paints from the la cienega store for years here in LA. Great story!
What a hoot! I have been stealing Old Holland paints from the la cienega store for years here in LA. Great story!
wait, is that Pearl still open? It’ll help me get over not stealing while I had the chance.
wait, is that Pearl still open? It’ll help me get over not stealing while I had the chance.
I would reckon that 80% of pearls employees got jobs there in order to steal!
PS. I stole from the South St. location once or twice… those big fat oil sticks. What can you do…
I would reckon that 80% of pearls employees got jobs there in order to steal!
PS. I stole from the South St. location once or twice… those big fat oil sticks. What can you do…
It’s strange to think that people steal from businesses in order to make art while the majority of people doing the steeling pay inflated prices for a fine arts education which statistically perpetuates a life of poverty for its graduates. I understand theres exceptions but it seems such a backward view of ethics and practicality that i myself am guilty of. If a Dentistry school repeatedly pumped out graduates to a saturated job market which was clearly unable provide an economic return greater than the original investment in the education it would be bankrupt and without students. The system which created this story you blogged about is not able to sustain itself from a purely economic perspective while also making the society in which it hopes to operate impotent. Thought i’d put in my two cents because i here this story a lot.
It’s strange to think that people steal from businesses in order to make art while the majority of people doing the steeling pay inflated prices for a fine arts education which statistically perpetuates a life of poverty for its graduates. I understand theres exceptions but it seems such a backward view of ethics and practicality that i myself am guilty of. If a Dentistry school repeatedly pumped out graduates to a saturated job market which was clearly unable provide an economic return greater than the original investment in the education it would be bankrupt and without students. The system which created this story you blogged about is not able to sustain itself from a purely economic perspective while also making the society in which it hopes to operate impotent. Thought i’d put in my two cents because i here this story a lot.
I don’t normally publish my comments on AFC – Mom’s the word. Nevertheless, as a facilitator in one of Canada’s Correctional Facilities teaching fraud and shoplifting prevention, I would like you to know that should you be deported back to Canada – your punishment could be incarceration in one of your mother’s courses.
I don’t normally publish my comments on AFC – Mom’s the word. Nevertheless, as a facilitator in one of Canada’s Correctional Facilities teaching fraud and shoplifting prevention, I would like you to know that should you be deported back to Canada – your punishment could be incarceration in one of your mother’s courses.
I think it’s safe to say that pretty much any artist or writer who ever worked at an art or office supply shop was balancing his/her wages with the five finger discount. Love you Office Max!
I think it’s safe to say that pretty much any artist or writer who ever worked at an art or office supply shop was balancing his/her wages with the five finger discount. Love you Office Max!
moms the word!
ooooh… mom smackdown! i love it!!!!
moms the word!
ooooh… mom smackdown! i love it!!!!
My, you were naive weren’t you all? So you lived in a rough hood? The thing is lots of people have these stories – its part of the experience. In Baltimore a student run gallery (H. Lewis) got robbed at gun point by some folks right after they got the local “Superfresh” grocery store. Gunshots at night? Like angry home improvement to the unexperienced ear. I personally saw the blood stain in the bank lobby floor.
The thing is, New York used to be a lot rougher – and it is still dangerous – the other day I say some thug carve a gash down the side of someones face with a straight razor – just like you would a conte crayon on rives BFK – in a restaurant no less. It doesn’t get much better than that. TV is for amateurs. 9-11? That’s a vicarious thrill for most people.
But more importantly, this year there are going to be a lot of art fairs, some of them small potatoes with regards to financial backing – others have 99 year leases on their piers and a corporation at the top – so I hope you will recognize that and not follow the money, the crowd, the excitement, or do, see if I care.
That is all.
My, you were naive weren’t you all? So you lived in a rough hood? The thing is lots of people have these stories – its part of the experience. In Baltimore a student run gallery (H. Lewis) got robbed at gun point by some folks right after they got the local “Superfresh” grocery store. Gunshots at night? Like angry home improvement to the unexperienced ear. I personally saw the blood stain in the bank lobby floor.
The thing is, New York used to be a lot rougher – and it is still dangerous – the other day I say some thug carve a gash down the side of someones face with a straight razor – just like you would a conte crayon on rives BFK – in a restaurant no less. It doesn’t get much better than that. TV is for amateurs. 9-11? That’s a vicarious thrill for most people.
But more importantly, this year there are going to be a lot of art fairs, some of them small potatoes with regards to financial backing – others have 99 year leases on their piers and a corporation at the top – so I hope you will recognize that and not follow the money, the crowd, the excitement, or do, see if I care.
That is all.
i worked for a large book chain in the early 90’s, and learned that employee theft was factored into the retail pricing. so yeah it was like a moral obligation to help yourself. if employees didn’t steal, the company would be ripping people off.
i worked for a large book chain in the early 90’s, and learned that employee theft was factored into the retail pricing. so yeah it was like a moral obligation to help yourself. if employees didn’t steal, the company would be ripping people off.
i stole every single bit of art material i used during grad school. columbia’s mad expensive yo.
i stole every single bit of art material i used during grad school. columbia’s mad expensive yo.
Hey! Unreformed. Companies are allowed a certain percentage of theft on their taxes. Pearl just put 600 more people on the street. I am happy to know you understand your social obligation and rest assured, you are an idiot!
Hey! Unreformed. Companies are allowed a certain percentage of theft on their taxes. Pearl just put 600 more people on the street. I am happy to know you understand your social obligation and rest assured, you are an idiot!
This is such a beautiful story.
This is such a beautiful story.
I too have disliked Pearl Store in Woodbridge – terribly organized and a mess to shop – a last resort. I heard that they had discounts up to 80% recently and even those items were f–ked in bad shape.
JOHN WATERS is a wonderfully generous film-maker. He adores his characters – and often they ARE eccentric characters – and tenderly cares for them. He was the perfect mensch for Tanya to approach.
No matter how serious Ms. Johnson is, she too has a good sense of humor…hmmmmm or was she kidding…Better stay away from the border.
I too have disliked Pearl Store in Woodbridge – terribly organized and a mess to shop – a last resort. I heard that they had discounts up to 80% recently and even those items were f–ked in bad shape.
JOHN WATERS is a wonderfully generous film-maker. He adores his characters – and often they ARE eccentric characters – and tenderly cares for them. He was the perfect mensch for Tanya to approach.
No matter how serious Ms. Johnson is, she too has a good sense of humor…hmmmmm or was she kidding…Better stay away from the border.
I could use some of that paint!!I’m a broke artist but still find a way to paint, mostly using black and white now.
I could use some of that paint!!I’m a broke artist but still find a way to paint, mostly using black and white now.
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