Our seven gallery girls have gotten comfortable in their roles on the show, shrugging off their dead-end art-related responsibilities for the subsidized gossip that keeps the show running. As the gargantuan art fair Art Basel approaches, they drag themselves to Miami kicking and screaming, literally coming to tears when faced with the idea of being productive.
The episode opens with Amy getting fired from Sharon Hurowitz’s art advisory; this is no surprise after Amy tried to force all of her work onto Kerri and embarrassed Sharon with her habitual lateness. With drama and unemployment at record highs within the Gallery Girls social circle, Jane Holzer fears for the show’s sustainability. She takes Amy, Claudia, and Angela up to the Brant Foundation to see David Altmejd’s sculpture, so that maybe someone will talk about art or associate with Amy. Claudia finds the work “individual” and “thought-about”; Angela gazes into a mirror. Inspirational music lets us know that the girls have understood the art.
Yeah, whatever it looks great—now can we talk about Amy’s date with Eli?
Liz is pushing the “my father doesn’t love me” bit again. Her father, collector Martin Margulies hasn’t planned a family vacation this year (the monster), and Liz suspects that he is distant toward her due to her earlier self-destructive behavior. “Daddy issues” fueled most of the emotional drama in Work of Art’s second season, running the sad father story gamut from divorce to cancer to jet-ski accidents. It’s obvious that Bravo’s producers are trying to wring out a similar woeful tale, but if sending a private car to pick Liz up from the airport is substandard parenting, as she claims, then I have some serious thinking to do.
Eli Klein is having a pre-Basel party at his apartment, and Liz criticizes him for just wanting to show off his apartment and art collection. Before we can explore the true spirit of partying in all its altruism and purity, Liz stirs the pot by inviting Angela to breakfast at her father’s Miami warehouse to the exclusion of Chantal and Claudia. Some half-baked insults are thrown around: Liz refers to Chantal and Claudia as “Dumb and Dumber,” Chantal thinks that Liz is a bitch, and Liz’s boyfriend Bobby gestures to “the little baby Asian people,” which we’re going to assume is a five-episode-late comment on Eli’s Han Yajuan show.
Back at End of Century, Chantal and Claudia discuss the prospect of a pop-up gallery at Art Basel. Chantal is reduced to tears at the idea, as it will interfere with her vacation (which just happens to be in Miami for the duration of Art Basel). Amy has offered End of Century their pick of venues, and Claudia’s skills as an art dealer have left her with plenty of unsold art, but Chantal is too worried about the logistics of finding coat racks for their garments in Miami (instead of just showing their art, like one might do at Art Basel). Chantal reduces Claudia’s plan to “bringing a few things down that are beachy and trying to sell them” because the fair is in Miami and must therefore be beach-themed. Chantal’s protests don’t work on everybody; Angela still has the photos from her show and they’re coming to Miami whether we like it or not.
“We can definitely tell that we’re not any part of the local flavor.” —Claudia
The three Brooklyn girls arrive in Miami and terrorize the locals with their abominable swimwear. Claudia and Angela urge Chantal to be on board with the pop-up gallery, because in true gallery girl fashion, they’ve already been blabbing about the show to their peers and can’t back out now. The rest of the cast have also made their way to Miami: Liz has had her genitals waxed because, again, Art Basel is beach-themed, and Maggie discusses her own father’s pioneering work with neon. Sharon Hurowitz shows now-lone intern Kerri a Gert and Uwe Tobias woodcut, which is good since its scale is “something that is really special.” Now that one gallery girl has seen one piece of art at the fair, this is enough Art Basel for the Art Basel episode and we can go back to Liz feeling neglected when her father is busy during the busiest time of the year for him.
Amy shows off her family’s Miami home to the Brooklyn girls. Amy acts professionally as a foil to the EoC girls’ insolence, laying out offers for venues to put End of Century in the fair’s art walk while Claudia gnaws on a cigar and Chantal insults her coffee. The group goes to visit the best two leads: the Rosario Bond studio’s massive white-walled gallery space is no good as the other art displayed is too colorful and art-like, but Cafeina is a hit because Claudia likes their drinks. The venue does not, however, have walls or lighting.
The episode’s final showdown occurs at an event at the Margulies Collection at the Warehouse. All three Brooklyn girls show up despite Liz’s Angela-only invitation, dressed so bizarrely as to attract laughter from passersby. All fail to initiate basic greetings. The girls safely back in their cliques, Claudia starts bashing Liz for wearing human-appropriate clothing.
“Money can’t buy you class, baby.” —Claudia
Next time on Gallery Girls: Liz starts club drama with Maggie, the last permutation of gallery girl-on-gallery girl drama.
- Gallery Girls Episode 8: Cheers to Double-Fisting
- Gallery Girls Episode 7: “It Feels So Good to Be a Gangster”
- Gallery Girls Episode 5: I Didn’t See a Vagina in It, But Spencer’s Boss Did
- Gallery Girls Episode 4: “Gays and Asians, We Can’t Handle Either of You Anymore”
- Gallery Girls Episode 3: “It’s Like, Actual Dirt”
- Gallery Girls Episode 2: “I Feel Like We’re Being Raped Right Now”
- Gallery Girls Episode 1: I’m Just Going to Let Her Rot
{ 3 comments }
omg, wannabe pseudo gallerinas that are really OC housewives in disguise? how is it that i’m missing this piece of quality programming?
This sentence in paragraph three: “Brooklynite Angela claims Carrie Bradshaw as her inspiration, despite her hostility toward the cast members who at all resemble Bradshaw and toward the Upper East Side in general.”
It makes me feel dyslexic.
Really really need my neighbor to get her cable turned back on so I can start watching this.
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