This dizzying GIF depicts a spinning CGI bald man in the fetal position covering his eyes while he gives himself a BJ, exposing his butt hole in the process. Something about it, though, makes it feel more New-Age-y than pornographic. It could be that his hands look like they’re praying and he’s seemingly levitating over a serene pool of water. Or the fact that he’s spinning in such a manner that his toes form the points of a pentagram. Maybe it’s because this is what watching people do yoga is like?

At any rate, it’s a dude pleasuring himself who looks embarrassed. Gaze upon his shame after the jump. 

Post image for Miami Beyond the Fairs: Things You Can See Now

Art Basel Miami Beach doesn’t technically begin until next week, but myriad satellite fairs, pop-ups, and exhibitions at institutions and artist-run spaces have pretty much turned Miami “Art Week” into a season unto itself. For Miami locals or those already in town prepping for the main fairs, there’s plenty of quality shows already open this week, including tonight’s opening reception for a real/fake all-woman art fair. Here, in no particular order, are our picks for what you can see today or this weekend.

Post image for Another Failed Exhibition at TIFF: “Warhol: Stars of the Silver Screen”

It’s hard to count all the ways the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) exhibition “Andy Warhol: Stars of the Silver Screen” fails. Lame gallery space, obvious exhibition design, poor exhibition maintenance all contribute to a terrible viewing experience. And it’s not the first time. The show is the latest in a string of underwhelming shows suggesting that the film centre and headquarters for TIFF might not be equipped to handle the major touring exhibitions it earnestly seeks to attract. In the five years since TIFF moved into the TIFF Bell Lightbox, a five-story glass-paneled complex in the heart of city’s entertainment district, its exhibition programming has struggled in going year-round.

Blame the HSBC Gallery, its main exhibition space. Despite state-of-the-art cinemas on upper levels gently twisting above an airy street level public atrium, it’s always struck me as an architectural afterthought. Any exhibitions I’ve seen — from a revamped version of MoMA’s Tim Burton exhibition to the TIFF-organized David Cronenberg retrospective survey — have felt cramped, and marred by exhibition design lacking any sort of intuitive flow or sense of movement for visitors.

Post image for Rebecca Goyette With Irena Jurek: The Terrifying Experience of Extra Teats

Between 1692 and 1693, more than twenty people were executed in Massachusetts. They were the victims of a series of trials and persecutions against people accused of witchcraft. Most were women. All but one died of by hanging. During that time, Rebecca Nurse, a 71 year old grandmother known piousness and stature in the community was hung for witchcraft.

Years later, her great, great grandchild, Rebecca Goyette tells a new story, inspired by the events that killed her grandmother. I was lucky enough to be part of the live studio audience for the the filming of her new work “Ghost Bitch”, which imagines the life of a character by the same name doing historical reenactments by day and dominatrix work by night. She is a modern day witch who works hard to fulfill the expectations of thrill-seeking tourists—and art audiences.

The result was improvisational work of theatre and film that so thoroughly impressed and terrified me I reached out to Goyette to discuss the work. It premieres at the Satellite Art Show in a bandshell on Miami Beach next week, as part of her curatorial project “Extra Teats: “A Screening of Bad Ass Puritan-Purging Digital Artwork”. The screening includes works by Katie Cercone, Kerry Downey, Dawn Frasch, Faith Holland, Narcissister, Kenya Robinson. We discuss gender dynamics and power struggles, Ghost Bitch, and the filming of that project and the most frightening art I have ever paid witness to.

Post image for The Most Useful Art Basel Guide is the Xipsy & Bulletin41 Printable Guide

Every year Xipsy (Boyd Level) produces their Art Basel guide we produce a dedicated post to promoting it. Why? Because in conjunction with our own opinionated guides, a simple foldable PDF naming all the fairs, their hours, locations and openings has proved invaluable. You don’t have to figure out how to use any special apps or scour websites for their hours. You don’t have to worry about exhausting precious phone battery to use it. It’s all here in one convenient printable map, this year produced with Bulletin41. Print this thing out as we have. You’ll thank us for it later.

Post image for This Week’s Must-See Art Events: Give Thanks That Anything Is Happening at All This Week

Let’s be honest: With Thanksgiving and Art Basel just around the corner, there’s dick all to do around here. Nobody is opening their show this week and if they are it’s something really weird. Naturally we found that for you: Art School Acid Dropout invites stand up comedians tell stories while art school drop-outs illustrate the stories. The rest are talks, screenings and closings: Adeola Enigbokan lectures on her Renters Archive project tonight, where she chronicles the personal histories of rents after the second World War. Saturday MoMA screens “Goodnight Mommy” a terrifying film about two children who believe their mother is an imposter after she returns home with a botched plastic surgery job. And if that doesn’t suit your fancy there’s always the NOoSPHERE closing. The nonprofit art space that focuses on international collaborations and exposure for artists from Norway will move from the LES to Greenpoint. This is their current space’s last hurrah.